Mental State Podcast Episodes
Listen to all episodes on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. I cover topics including attachment styles, dating, relationships, sex, ghosting, narcissism, and gaslighting.
Crushes and Attachment Styles
How childhood crushes can infiltrate the way we date as adults. Listen as we share some tips on how to have a relationship with that part of yourself and allow for the adult you to be in the dating driver’s seat.
Attachment Styles 101
Want to know more about attachment styles? We discuss the four attachment styles and how to move towards an earned secure attachment.
Dating the Fantasy
We get caught up in the fantasy of dating and sometimes put the reality aside. Mary talks about her own dating fantasies and how attachment can play a big role in creating the fantasy. Learn how to take off the dating rose-colored glasses and see the person in front of you for who they really are.
The Medium Speaks: Conversations with a Medium
Medium Ivy Sanderji talks about her experience of being a medium and a psychic, how to show up for a reading, and what it’s like to get messages from the “other side.” We explore how a reading can help people with different attachment styles. Ivy gets some messages about Mary’s love life, and Mary agrees to do a live reading with Ivy.
Attachment and Childhood Trauma: How the loss of a sibling affects attachment
Tune into this interview with a listener who is new to attachment styles. A listener, Jen, lost her brother at a young age. This devastating trauma, as well as her struggle to find guidance through her turbulent teens, influenced the way she navigated her own relationships. Jen shares how attachment theory is shedding light on the way she shows up in relationships.
The Law of Attraction and Relationships
Does the Law of Attraction really work when you’re looking for a partner? Do you think you can manifest the perfect person by making a vision board? Listen to this breakdown of the Law of Attraction and what that means about your attachment style.
Obsessing Over Your Ex
Have you ever been obsessed with your ex? Or maybe someone you’re currently dating. Mary shares some of her own past obsessions and what she was going through at the time. Learn about how your attachment style may be driving your obsessions.
Ghosting: An interview with ghosting expert Gretta Perlmutter
Gretta Perlmutter is the host of the Coping With Ghosting podcast and IG account. Listen to this interview with Greta about the ghosting epidemic, ghosting, and attachment styles. Gretta shares some helpful tools for coping with ghosting. We can never get enough of ghosting!
Pets: Our Attachment Teachers
Listen to me talk about the importance of the companionship of pets, how our attachment style influences how we are with our pets, and the grief that comes with pet loss. Pets can be our ultimate attachment teachers.
The Fear of Being Alone and Single Forever
Are you terrified of ending up alone? Come explore the fears around a future of loneliness and what you can do to move towards partnership. Mary shares how having brothers helped her feel more secure in relationships and shares other’s fears about ending up alone.
The Love Language Lowdown
We discuss love languages and breaks down how they work within the framework of attachment styles.
Codependency and Attachment
We discuss codependency and attachment. In this case, attachment means becoming overly involved with a troubled, needy, or dependent person. Codependence can also mean a lack of open and direct communication, trust in one’s self, and the inability to set realistic expectations. Get the low-down on what codependency looks and sounds like, where it comes from (hint: your family relationships), and steps you can take to set yourself free.
The Trauma of Being Single
There is a stigma around being single, especially for women of all ages. We grew up with the societal, and quite possibly familial, expectations of pairing up and reproducing before a certain age. Mary discusses being single through an attachment lens and what it really means to be single.
Self-help and Attachment
We are no strangers to the world of self-help, and there’s a plethora of self-help books on dating. Hear how your attachment style relates to self-help and why it can over-promise and under-deliver.
Dating Apps Part 2: Making them work for you
We talk about how dating apps can play into your attachment style. She gives helpful tips on how not to get stuck in the dating app trap and how to shift your energy towards a more positive dating outcome.
Dating Apps Part 1: Swiping to find love
The dreaded dating apps—love them or leave them—are here to stay. We talk about dating apps and how to make them work for you.
The Soul Mate Myth
What happens when your soulmate becomes your soulhate? We talk about the feelings underneath meeting your soulmate and when the relationship turns confusing. We share experiences with soulmates turned deadbeats. Learn how this dance can start feeling very disorganized.
Disorganized Attachment: Pushing and Pulling
We break down disorganized attachment style. Disorganized attachment is characterized by a lack of a consistent pattern of behavior when it comes to attachment. Individuals with disorganized attachment may seem to want to be close to others but then become anxious, avoidant, or even fearful in certain situations. Pulling from her own life experiences with this attachment style Mary normalizes the confusing emotional push and pull of this attachment style.
Avoidant Attachment Style: Leave Me Alone
We discuss avoidant attachment styles—the attachment style that Mary holds near and dear to her heart. Mary confesses an avoidant moment and offers up some tips for the avoidant.
Anxious Attachment Style: Love me, love me, love me
We break down the anxious attachment style. Listen to what happens when someone’s anxious attachment flares up after only two dates and explain how anxious attachment can feel like Tigger and a Watch Dog. Mary validates that experience and provides some tips about hanging out with their own anxious attachments.
Secure Attachment Style: The Gold Standard of Attachment Styles
We talk about the secure attachment style and its spirit animal, the Golden Retriever. Mary shares how Kyle Chandler is her fantasy dad and how attachment impacts your brain. Learn tools on how to work towards a secure attachment.
Love and Lust: Navigating the Rules of Sex and Attachment
We discuss rules around sex and expectations. Are you looking for a long-term partner or a quickie? And how does this work with your attachment style? Listen as I talk about how all of this works within the insecure attachment paradigm.
Ghosted: The Ultimate Disappearing Act in Dating
Mary talks about ghosting, being ghosted, how that works with attachment styles, and what to do when you’re ghosted.
Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. This information is not intended to provide health care or psychological therapy services and is not intended to diagnose or treat any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitute for therapy or any advice given by a licensed psychologist or other licensed or registered professionals.