Couples Therapy

Happily, ever after…

You look at your wedding photos and wonder, “What happened to that couple?”

Years ago, you declared lovingly, “I do.” Now, you cringe at the mere thought of your partner and ask yourself, “Do I?”

You used to love spending time together. Languishing over long Sunday brunches with other couples. Planning long weekends away and relishing the silly moments of couple-dom. Dancing at outdoor concerts and cuddling under a blanket as you basked in a dazzling sunset.

Fun with your partner has dwindled to a distant memory, and you don’t know how to get the magic back.

From soulmate to roommate

When did you two go from completing each other to merely occupying the same space?

You’ve lost that connection and are frequently at each other’s throats. You hurl words like “needy,” “unavailable,” “clingy,” “detached,” and “You’ve changed!” as you argue.

A seismic shift in the relationship dynamic has thrown your entire relationship out of whack. Something feels off. You feel off.

You can’t talk anymore – instead, you engage in explosive fights with the same ending: one of you storms off, leaving the other seething.

From roommate to occupant

Or maybe you’re avoiding each other altogether – finding relief in leading separate lives because spending time together feels like a chore.

You want to reconnect. But you’ve forgotten how. And now, a giant, invisible, seemingly impenetrable wall looms between you.

Nobody wins the blame game

It’s important to see how you discuss issues – but I will not spend the session refereeing a heavyweight championship between the two of you. You can do that at home.

What I will do is moderate the levels of anxiety in the room.

If you’re coming in hot, I’m going to bring you down to a calmer state – because, when you’re operating from a place of heated emotions, you have lost the ability to behave rationally.

And that’s not your thing. That’s just how human beings operate on a biological level.

Work as a team instead

I’ll help you move beyond the anger and frustration and into a place of compassion, vulnerability, and understanding.

You’ll stop assuming and start asking, making it easier to identify negative cycles, break them down, and create positive ways to communicate.

I’ll help close the gap from being rivals to being on the same team.

It won’t be easy

Falling back into your old ways – automatically reacting – that’s easy.

But laying down a new foundation and creating a new pathway of choice? That’s hard.

My work as a couples therapist focuses on communicating over criticizing, improving the friendship within the relationship, and re-establishing emotional connection and intimacy.

To learn more about couples therapy, call me at (310) 626-4789.