Attachment Therapy

You struggle to form healthy relationships

Your attachment style may be getting in the way of you forming deeper connections. Attachment style refers to the way individuals form emotional bonds and connections with others, especially in the context of close relationships. Attachment styles are thought to develop in early childhood through interactions with primary caregivers and parents, which shape expectations and behaviors in adult relationships.

If your childhood was filled with lots of ruptures and chaos you may have developed survival skills like people-pleasing, overcompensating, retreating, or self-sabotaging just to get through it.  In other words, you may have an insecure attachment style.

You are not your attachment style

If you have an insecure attachment style you may be unintentionally replicating unhealthy relationship patterns from your past. This cycle can involve choosing partners who reinforce familiar dynamics, making it challenging to break free from unhealthy patterns and ways of connecting.

Toxic attachment patterns often involve intense emotional experiences, and despite their negative impact, they may feel familiar and provide a sense of security, even if it’s an unhealthy one. Breaking away from familiarity can be emotionally challenging.

These patterns become imprinted in the neural circuits of the brain, creating default ways of thinking, feeling, and responding to relationship dynamics that initially served as survival strategies in challenging or adverse environments. Even though these patterns may no longer be necessary, the brain can resist changing them because it perceives these strategies as essential for survival. And now these survival skills are getting in the way of developing healthy relationships. Changing toxic attachment patterns may face resistance from the brain’s inherent desire for stability, even if that stability is harmful.

Get ready for major shifts

I’m here to deliver the good news. Attachment styles are not deterministic, and you can develop awareness and work towards creating more secure attachments.

If you have an insecure attachment style leaning in to unfamiliar territory is going to feel uncomfortable. Why? Because your brain has adapted for survival. And the unhealthy patterns you’ve developed over the years feel familiar. And familiar feels comfortable.

I will support and guide you on your travels into uncharted territory where you will experience the fundamentals of the secure attachment style. You will learn how to  develop new neural connections that promote trust and safety, effective emotional regulation, and stronger resilience networks in the brain which will allow you to bounce back from relationship challenges, learn from experiences, and adapt positively to changing circumstances.

Ready to move towards secure attachment?

Call (310) 626-4789 to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation and find out how we can work together.

Learn more about the basics of attachment styles here.